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Steps to Move Forward After Divorce

April 29, 2022 Family Law & Divorce

For every step forward you take after your divorce, you may feel like you get dragged at least two steps back. That’s understandable when you consider that you not only have to contend with changes in finances and living arrangements but also changes in your expectations.

You may not have too much trouble letting go of your ex. But letting go of memories and your hopes for the future can be much more of a challenge.

However, McKinney divorce lawyers have seen that this challenge—and all the others you face during and after divorce—can be managed if you approach them in small steps.

1) Acknowledge Your Feelings but Don’t Let Them Control You

If you have a dog, consider treating your feelings like your dog. They need some attention, but you can’t give them free rein over your life or they will tear everything up.

Don’t allow your emotions to overrule your logic, particularly when it comes to key decisions such as whether you want to take on substantial debt to keep the family home. McKinney divorce lawyers could share horror stories about the terrible decisions clients have wanted to make based on emotions rather than reason. (But we value our clients’ privacy too greatly to divulge details.)

2) Develop a Financial Plan

The cost of living on your own after a divorce is proportionately much higher than living with a spouse. That means it’s not necessarily a bad thing to be concerned about your financial situation. This is a good time to put that worry to work by creating a financial plan for the future.

Your McKinney divorce lawyers can explain the likely financial outcome of your divorce, including what to expect in terms of property division, debt allocation, child support, and alimony. Consult your CPA and financial planner to help you set realistic goals for managing bills and rebuilding your savings. With a plan in hand, you can feel more confident going forward.

3) Spend Some Time Focused on the Present

Dwelling on the past—whether regrets or happy memories—can drag you down. Whether you want to change mistakes or re-live precious moments, you will only end up frustrated. Even if your future focus is productive, such as when you are considering visitation arrangements for a school holiday, it can still be a strain on your mind.

Try to spend some time each day simply enjoying a moment in the present. Soak in a hot bath. Turn up your favorite music and sing along without worrying about how you sound. Even a few minutes just savoring a cup of coffee can refresh your mind and body.

4) Reflect on What You Want–And What You Don’t

The time during and after a divorce provides a good opportunity to reflect on what you want to keep and what you want to change in your life. This can include everything from sheets and towels to your attitudes toward friendship. If you find yourself really valuing the honesty or loyalty of certain individuals near you, make it a goal to keep those people in your life and be there to return the favor when they need help.

Your Divorce Lawyer Understands That the Struggles are Real

McKinney divorce lawyers practice family law because they want to help individuals get through some of the toughest challenges they will face in life. At Nordhaus & Nordhaus, PC, we get tremendous satisfaction as we watch our clients emerge from the trauma of divorce strong and ready to move on to their best life ahead. If you could use help with your divorce or modifications after a divorce, contact us for a confidential consultation to learn how we could help.